Funny Quotes:

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.
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Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
thru hell.
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Things done by the persons back from Foreign countries....

This was sent to me specially by my friend from India.....truly did made me smile...read on

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.

19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curd".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "O" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says
Seven O Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and
counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as
possible (but deep down the heart
multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X,
Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/
YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"


10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke. Always
drinks BISLERI water!!!

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as
"Mojule".

4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways
by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India , tries
to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one

1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I
was in US..."

A Wife is a Wife whoever you are.........funny pic

A Short Story - Truly Inspired

Friends,

Today I have a small story to share… I hope it will leave you with a beautiful feeling at the end…

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have

a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

"Life is too short and friends are too few."

Valuable banking:

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.

Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our Bank Master card yet?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"


Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!!!!"

Bedsheet for Bachelors!!!!

There has always been a healthy competition for advertising products. People get mesmerized and buy the product if it has creative and innovative promos for campaigning inspite of ill quality. The way products are promoted develops a liking for it in the market. One such above is the bedsheet for bachelors.

The Sweet Proposal!

I loved reading this!!!

Feelings.....

When I saw your name next to mine,
In our wedding card,
I felt blessed.

When I saw you smile,
Seeing me in the traditional bride groom dress,
I felt teased.

When I held your hand,
During the marriage rituals,
I felt responsible.

When you entered my lonely bachelor life,
And changed it into a heavenly abode,
I felt lucky.

When you showed the same love as I did,
Towards my parents,
I felt proud.

When you scolded me,
For neglecting my heath amidst my hectic work,
I felt pampered.

When I saw you scream,
Crying out of labor pains,
I felt helpless.

When I saw tears of happiness in your eyes,
As you looked at our kid,
I felt blessed once again.

All these feeling have bloomed in my heart,
But are yet to blossom in reality.
As these are feelings I long to feel,
For these are still unfelt.

Will you marry me?

GUYS!!! You have a chance if you follow it.